Bronte (and Jane Eyre) believed that marriage should be a match between intellectual and spiritual equals. One of the things that made marriage difficult for Jane was the power (legal and sexual) it gave the husband over the wife. You can see these issues at work in the section towards the end of the book where Jane has to decide if she will marry St John: on the one hand, St John appeals to her sense of duty and self sacrifice, but ultimately she rejects him because of his evident pride, arrogance, and sense of superiority. Rochester, in contrast, has actually been trapped in a bad marriage; Bertha's power over him -- her existence! -- ruins his hope for "true love" with Jane. Rochester clearly does not consider Bertha to be his wife in any real way, but is unable to escape the legal and moral bonds of marriage. In a sense, Rochester has lived the experience Jane avoids with St John -- servitude to an unloving spouse. Jane ultimately marries Rochester because she believes that they are spiritual and intellectual equals -- Rochester, in his crippled state at the end of of the book, requires Jane's care, but Jane, for her part, requires Rochester's understanding.
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